Aliens and Toe Hair

I am a hairy lady. Not of the bearded variety, thank heaven. But if we happened to be stranded somewhere, given time, I could weave us a blanket out of my unsightly body hair. Yep. My ancestors must be from some seriously cold places, because I was made for wintertime.

Which is why I simply luuurve this time of year. This is MY time. When I get to strut around in a t-shirt and capri pants while people stare at me in mild horror and say things like, "How are you DOING that?" and "You're really an alien, aren't you? Because that would totally explain why you aren't curled up in the fetal position shivering right now." Okay, so no one ever said that last one, because that's the kind of awesome thing I would say. I think just about any sentence can be made infinitely funnier by inserting the word alien into it somewhere.

Speaking of aliens, my husband dressed up our Vander-van as one. Awesome. It's how we roll (literally! Bwahahahah!).

So on each of my big toes there's this one hair that grows smack dab in the middle of it. And if, say, I forget about this hair? It can grow to be about an inch long. Yeah. I have hobbit toes. Deal with it.

This year I'm dressing up as an elf for Halloween. I've got this awesome floor length dress my Granny gave me, which shouts Rivendell and 60's Cocktail Party in equal volumes. I stole my husband's Spock ears and voila! Elf!

But as I'm swishing about looking all awesome and ethereal and stuff, I'll also be twitching my toes from time to time, thinking how it's all just an elaborate masquerade. That really, despite being 5 foot 10, I'm actually just a hobbit in disguise . . .

VanderVision Tip of the Day: Hobbits are awesome. The End.

Happy Halloweening!

1 comment:

  1. Ooh, I wish I could have seen you in this beautiful costume. I bet you looked fab! With your height and your gorgeous face I bet you DID look ethereal. :D