Why Kim Writes

Sometimes, I pscyho-analyze myself. You know, just for fun. I've had nearly thirty years of experience (I started when I was five--I was precocious like that), so I'm pretty awesome at it. Not only do I know how awesome I actually AM, I know how awesome I will be, CAN be, might be, should be. 

However you want to phrase it, I have got POTENTIAL people. Most of it unrealized, but it is there. Oh yes.

The one(?) thing I haven't figured out though is my writing potential. That throws me for a serious loop. Some days I sit down and write a chapter and my head bops along to my internal soundtrack (currently: Adele's "Rolling in the Deep"), and I think, This is awesome! Love the dialogue. Love the flow. Man, my main character is HYSTERICAL! Whoo. HOO.

The next day I stare at the screen, punch at the keyboard sporadically, and find myself fretting and doubting. This is CRAP, I tell myself. Who am I kidding, pretending I can write? Time to pull out the sewing machine, because at least I expect to be horrible at sewing.

Yeah. Writers are, by nature, emotional schizophrenics. Really. Look it up. It's a thing.

One of the many awesome things about having kids (yes, we're talking about my kids now--they're even more awesome than I am, you know), is that you have the option of looking at the world through a VERY different lens. And it really messes with my head when I see my kids quit something before they've even properly started it. I start thinking, Um, they're not supposed to be little mini-me's, are they? Aren't they supposed to be better? Aren't we supposed to take it up a notch each generation? Isn't that the hope?

And then I realize that I have to teach them to be better, and the only way I can do it is to show them. Talking is fun exercise for the lips and, occasionally, the brain, but it isn't called cheap for no reason. Talk is whispery quiet, no matter how much you shout. Talk is temporary and fleeting. I have an awesome memory, but there are very few of my mother's words that I can actively call to mind. I remember what she DID.

Oh man. My poor kids. Because so far, I haven't taken it up a notch at ALL. My mum was (is!) all shades of fabulous, and I'm, like, maybe two shades (I make really good cookies, and storytime with Mommy ROCKS around here).

So I'm going to keep writing. I finished off the first two chapters of my new book yesterday and I'm pushing forward into the third today. Even if one day I think it's amazing and the next I think it's horrid, I'm going to keep writing because I want my daughters to see me writing. I want them to see me doing hard things, so that they can believe they can do hard things too.

Plus, I really want to find out what happens next. My book is FASCINATING. ;)

VanderVision Tip of the Day: Sadly, it is possible to be awesome at non-awesome stuff. Stuff like laziness, binge eating, and just generally making bad life choices, etc . . . Brag it up anyway. It makes you look extra cool and has the bonus effect of confusing the heck out of people.


  1. My daughter has several unfinished manuscripts, like her mom.
    My favorite (for unfinished-ness) went, in its entirety, like this:

    Chapter 1

    Going to read your ms now...

  2. You are so in my head with this....
    Not just writing, all my in my head intentions. sigh... it's like having all these accountability partners...

    Keep on Kim.

  3. I'm so glad you are writing more and not giving up! And you know what? I just realized that same thing with my kids the other day. I need to work harder so they will too. =P