Is it Arrogant to Quote Yourself?

The answer to the question is, rather obviously, yes. But the more important question is whether or not I'm going to quote myself anyway. The answer? Also yes. Some of these are from Twitter, some from Facebook, others from random email conversations. And all of them are representative of my quite sad belief/hope that I'm definitely/maybe funny sometimes.

"I only drug, murder, brainwash, and blow up fictional characters. I'm super nice like that."

"Domestic Confession #172: Sometimes I leave the clean dishes out, just to show off/prove I actually accomplished something."

"I wondered for one frantic moment if we’d both been about to drool when our lips met." - From the scene where my main character has her first kiss.

"Dear Autocorrect, I know you have a lot of haters, but every time you correct "thongs" to "things" I fall in love with you a little more."

"There's an awkwardness in pulling out an old manuscript to revise, not unlike running into an ex at the grocery store. Will we fall in love again?"

"Accidentally stripped with curtains open. Looked up to see neighbour walking his dog and glancing my way. Merry Christmas, Jim!"

"I don’t understand what's so sexy about tongues. Whenever I stick mine out I feel like I have an alien tentacle dangling out of my mouth."

"When I write a love scene it feels equal parts love letter to my husband, and cheating on him with a figment of my imagination."

"I'm hoping my husband doesn't ask what I did today. I'm an honest woman and the truth might disturb him."

"It's a rough gig this being a writer thing. I am the hero, the villain, and the innocent bystander all rolled into one."

"There is a peculiar sort of ecstasy in staring at the innards of a well-organized dresser. In other news, my mental health is FINE. *twitch*"

“People think kindness is all soft and fuzzy. Sunshine, flowers, and lollipops. But kindness has teeth. Sometimes the right thing to do is to smack someone upside the head and KINDLY inform them they’re being a moron.”

"Anger is the ultimate do-it-yourself mood enhancer. Use with caution."

 “Your use of a question mark is an insult to cheese lovers the world over.”

"I've done a great deal of research and have discovered that the average human being prefers a relatable tyrannical overlord."

"Note to Self: When wetting hair in sink, please do so BEFORE brushing teeth."

"I love Sour Cream'N'Onion potato chips but I hate sour cream AND onions. Obviously I am a cyborg and this is a glitch in my programming."

"I judge the cleanliness of my home based on how many alphabet magnets are actually on the fridge. Today we hit a record high of nine."

"I'm kind of addicted to looking back at my younger self, shaking my head, and affectionately mumbling, "Idiot." I've come a long way."

"Being strong isn't the same as not breaking." - Okay, so this one isn't funny, but I love it so I'm including it anyway.

"Dear Self-Doubt, I thought I told you it was over. I've moved on, you know. His name's Hope and we are AWESOME together. "

"If it weren't for The Five Second Rule, our grocery bill would pretty much double."

"Dear Complete Strangers Who Add Me on Linked In: I'm pretty darn awesome, but not awesome enough to help you get a job. Just sayin'."

"Kids are like plants. Nice to look at, crazy hard to take care of, and they seem to require a great deal of dirt in order to thrive."

"Dear Writers of Teen EVERYTHING, Teens make sense. They are intelligent. And they deserve to be treated as such, both on and off the page." - Another not funny one. But definitely worthy of being said more than once.

"You know you have stress-related issues when . . . you find yourself envying the turkey as you massage herb butter into it."

"Whatever happens, we love our stories. We've lived through their pages. They are not just a gift FROM us, but TO us." - Not funny, but rather lovely.

"Sometimes when I'm writing I insert the word PENGUIN into my manuscript where I plan to add something during revisions. Later I whisper, "Find the penguins" to my laptop. If I weren't married with kids and allergic to cats, my chances of becoming a crazy old cat lady would by sky high by now."

"The first thing I noticed was his neck, and the complete lack of a pair of scissors sticking out of it."

"I'm having cheese and crackers for breakfast because I'm a grown up and can do what I like. And because we've run out of chocolate. And cookies."

"When I'm working towards a deadline, I forget to do basic things like wear clothes. Today, I'm wandering around in my underwear, a half-open bathrobe, and only one sock. Please don't stop by unannounced this week. It will be awkward for both of us."

Please note that I wrote the last quote a few weeks ago but it's applicable today too. Want to see more posts like this one? Leave me a comment below and the next time my head swells up I'll oblige.

Happy(?) Monday!


  1. oh, my dear . . . you just made my Monday! :) thank you! ♥
    this one was particularly giggle-worthy as I know you and your husband rather well! *grin*: "I'm hoping my husband doesn't ask what I did today. I'm an honest woman and the truth might disturb him."

  2. Oh, the tongues thing and the feeling like you're cheating on your husband when you write a love scene thing--I SO totally get those! (Among others, but I don't need to duplicate most of your list in the comments, do I?)