Cumulative Awesomeness

My fabulous friend Stephanie posted this photo on my facebook wall the other day, and her timing could not have been better. Because I had, in fact, spent the day being awesome. The house was decently tidy, the floor had been mopped (and then spilled on - three times even), I'd written two chapters, I laughed when the baby unrolled the toilet paper roll (a daily occurrence these days), tore it into bits, and then scattered those bits all over the house (included the stairs I had just vacuumed).

I made dinner, out of REAL food even, answered all the emails in my inbox, and did awesome supermom-ish type stuff with my girls.

Frankly, I was EXHAUSTED by the time the kids' bedtime rolled around. And I got this idea in my head that because I had succumbed to exhaustion (and curled up in bed with a book the SECOND the kids were all tucked in), that I suddenly wasn't awesome anymore. Which is ridiculous. I had done amazing things that day! Okay, maybe not amazing. Really, I just overcame my inborn laziness, triumphed over apathy, and maintained my sanity despite a day of hard work and children who seemed determined to undo everything I accomplished. No, I take it back. I did AMAZING things.

So why, at the end of that day, did I feel so inadequate? Why did I feel like I'd abandoned awesomeness just because, what, I'd decided to lie down and have a rest?

VanderVision Tip of the Day: Awesomeness is cumulative. Have you read Daring Young Mom's post on the subject? Once you've put a drop of awesome in your bucket, IT STAYS THERE. Trust me, it's a sturdy metal bucket. That awesomeness isn't going anywhere. It doesn't evaporate the second you slow down. It ACCUMULATES.

I was really awesome again this morning, and then this afternoon? Meh. Not so much. I didn't fold the laundry like I planned. I did some writing, I did some reading. I snuggled some kids. It was a laid-back, unambitious, relaxing sort of day. And really, that's a special kind of awesome all of its own, but the point I'm making is that I did a lot this morning. I got my house tidy, I swept, I scrubbed, I made lunch for a friend. I was patient and loving with my kids. I wrote cheery emails to friends and I finished the third draft of my book.

So no matter when I toss in the towel tonight, all that awesomeness remains. And tomorrow, I'll add some more. Life's complicated sometimes, but some things are simple like that.