Doctor WHO?

David Tennant was my first Doctor. Neil and I had been flipping channels, back in days of yore when we actually had cable TV still, and he stopped when he caught sight of The Tardis. Because however intensely Geek-Chic I am, Neil has been a geek longer than I have, and HE KNOWS STUFF.

He grew up watching Doctor Who, and I grew up watching Star Trek the Next Generation. Mostly, we're okay with this now, but I won't pretend it hasn't put a strain on our marriage from time to time.

So when we chanced upon an episode of what was then the newest incarnation of The Doctor, Neil was thrilled. I was mildly intrigued bordering on indifferent. And that is a very difficult admission for a passionate Doctor Who fan to make. My first impression of The Doctor was, "Meh. He's all right, I guess."

Before a lynch mob begins to form, let me say that I HAVE REPENTED.

We bought each season as it was released, and I fell for the Ninth Doctor, with his funny nose and sticky-outy ears and everything. Because he was FANTASTIC. And when he became the Tenth Doctor, I fell for him too, despite the fact he's really scrawny and I like a guy with a bit of meat on him. But physical stuff could not be allowed to matter. Because that's not who The Doctor is. The Doctor is incredible. It's partly his history. It's partly knowing what he has been, and what he has lived, and HOW he has lived. It's knowing that he has saved millions, and he has destroyed millions. It's knowing that he has been so very badly broken, and yet he is strong, and yet he struggles not to break others. It's seeing his empathy and compassion, and the way he loves so hard it just about kills him.

So when I met the Eleventh Doctor my reaction was, "Meh. He's all right, I guess." Because brilliant as the stories still are, brilliant as Matt Smith's acting is, HE IS NOT MY DOCTOR. Oh, I catch glimpses of him from time to time, but they are painful glimpses. It's like he's regressed to an earlier version of himself, a version I never knew, a version who hasn't learned how to love, or maybe has been so hurt he's trying not to anymore. And then I'll see him find himself again, and it HURTS, because he loses himself again so quickly.

And you may tell me that he is not real. You can claim that he is just a fictional character in an often cheesy British television show. But I will tell you that the best characters of our oh so human stories, are the ones who are real to us. The ones we hurt for. The ones who inspire us because they are human too. They are flawed, they are sometimes stupid and do things that make us want to shout at our televisions, or our books, or our e-readers, or whatever medium we use to invite STORY into our lives.

So for me, The Doctor is real, and that's okay. 

This post has no real purpose. No lesson to teach. Not even a VanderVision Tip of the Day to share. It's just a geek-girl saying she misses a character who means something very real to her. I miss my Doctor. I miss his heart(s). So even though it hurts, I keep watching. I keep looking for him. And I wanted that to be known.


  1. What I loved most about David Tenant's Doctor was that he felt things so deeply and so genuinely that he broke our hearts week after week. He became part of us because we experienced his pain and his joy and his excitement along with him. Matt Smith's Doctor is still brilliant and clever but in a way that doesn't touch us or make us feel. And in those moments when we know we should really be hurting with him and for him, the emotion just isn't there. I miss my Doctor. I miss him with every bit of my wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey self.

  2. I started watching with the Christopher Eccleston series, and went back from there to previous doctors and on to the newer ones. David Tennant is certainly the best of them in my opinion, but thats not to slight the others. I think it really just boils down to his relationship with Rose and the drama of the series during his run. I still wistfully wait for those potent words BAD WOLF to return.

  3. *sigh* YES. I miss him too-- but you already know that.

  4. But. I need someone to explain the finale to me. I AM CONFUSED.

  5. **The BBC announced on 30 March 2013 that Tennant and Billie Piper will return to Doctor Who for the 50th anniversary special in late 2013 -

  6. I almost hate to admit it here. But I have never, not once, not EVER watched any episode of any version, of Doctor Who. I didn't watch Star Trek either. Guess I don't get a geek card, huh?