Dear World at Large, I get the whole zombie thing, really I do. We human beings are fascinated by the things that horrify us, plus we'...
Letters from Kim - Zombie Edition
I get the whole zombie thing, really I do. We human beings are fascinated by the things that horrify us, plus we're totally fascinated by the future and what might or might not happen to us. Zombies mash those two things together because, let's admit it, the world is pretty darn messed up right now and we can totally imagine things going that way. And our literature has veered towards all things dystopian and post-apocalyptic in recent years. It's practically impossible NOT to think something crazy mental is going to go down one day.
That said, ninjas are way cooler than zombies. They've got that creepy deadly-and-silent thing going on for them. They're sharp dressers and they don't smell. They don't lose bits of themselves, thereby leaving incriminating evidence wherever they go. Ninjas have got it all figured out. Just sayin'.
With a Level of Tolerance for Your Crazy Shenanigans that Should Elevate her to Sainthood,
The Writer-Chick Who Not-So-Secretly Wants to be a Ninja One Day
The new website you created is AWESOME. But don't let it go to your head, okay? Just because you're a dot-com entity now doesn't mean you can start slacking off. You've got another 60K to write, missy, and you're not going to get it done if you keep tweaking lines of code and trying to think of new, funnier lines for your online bio.
Get back to work!
The Part of You Who'd Rather be Writing Anyway
Dear Little Girl Who is Now Playing With my (previously lonely) Little Girl,
Bless. Your. Heart.
It's hard being a socially-awkward mom with mild agoraphobia. It's good for the writing, not so much for the living. Teaching my kids how to be good friends doesn't come easy to me. Teaching them to be ostracized for their weirdness? Yeah. Sadly I kinda nailed that. Thanks for looking past it, and seeing the awesomely sweet and funny girl underneath the thin layer of awkward.
With much gratitude,
The Lady Who Will Be Buying You a VERY Nice Birthday Present if this Keeps Up
Dear Baby Who Used to Get Up Four Times a Night,
I am LOVING this sleeping through the night thing. Seriously. But I'm actually wondering if you can dial it back a bit? Fifteen hours in a row kind of freaks Mommy out.
The Mommy Who Keeps Having Nightmares That You've Stopped Breathing During the Night
Dear Toddler Who Used to Sleep Through the Night and Now Suddenly Doesn't Anymore,
Your timing is suspicious. We're watching you.
Your Mommy turned Conspiracy Theorist
About author: Kimberly VanderHorst
Kimberly Vanderhorst wrote her first book when she was seven (it was totally awesome, but the world isn't ready for it yet), and her next when she was twenty-seven. When asked to account for the intervening decades, she likes to suggest the possibility of alien abduction with as straight a face as possible.